Verbal Abuse

What Counts as Verbal Abuse? Verbal abuse is best thought of as an emotional environment that is ongoing that is created by an abuser to the abused, most often for the point of maintaining control. One of the primary underlying factors in the dynamics of a relationship with verbal abuse is the fact that the abuser has low self-esteem or opinions for him or herself. Because of this, the abuser tries to put their victim in a lowered position to make them believe similar things through a warped projection. Verbal abuse can include: • accusing • berating • blaming • blocking • bullying • countering • defaming • defining • discounting • diverting • harassing • insulting • interrogating • lying • name-calling • putting down • raging • taunting • threatening • trivializing • withholding • yelling Some examples of verbal abuse include: • Control by telling a victim how to feel and what to think while refusing to understand the victim’s perspective. The abuser may object verbally in a violent way to the victim’s desires or inions. • Withholding support, affection, information or money and denying it when the abuser is confronted. • Isolating a victim by blocking outside relationships to family and friends. The abuser works tries to convince the victim that the only person who truly cares about the victim or likes the victim is the abuser. Occasionally, the verbal abuser may be willing to admit to this behavior, and agrees to end it, but the behavior tends to quickly restart. Verbal abuse can happen to any person of any race, gender, sexual orientation, culture, size or age. It is seen most often in is especially prevalent in marital relationships. Most often, the intensity of verbal abuse will increase over time and can even escalate to a point where it becomes physical abuse as well. Often in a relationship with intense verbal abuse, the victim often suffers from very low self-esteem along with low self-worth. Because of the verbal abuse, a victim can easily fall into post-traumatic stress disorder or even clinical depression. Despite verbal abuse being one of the more common forms of abuse, it is normally not considered to be as seriously as other forms of abuse, since no visible proof comes out of verbal abuse. However, verbal abuse can sometimes be more harmful to the individual’s well-being than physical abuse. If verbal abuse starts at a young age, it can contribute greatly to borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, codependency, and many other psychological disorders that often continue on into adulthood. Individuals who feel they are being verbally attacked by an abuser regularly should try to get professional counsel and get out of the hurtful environment as much as possible. Staying in an environment with a verbal abuser is extremely damaging for a person's well-being.